Waiting...

Every single month there is a wait...a wait to see if by some miracle John and I can get pregnant on our own. It happened once, so I still find myself believing it can happen again....that could be why every month it doesn't happen I am completely devastated. Lets just put it this way...my husband has to deal with a lot on the day I find out I am not pregnant. I am a huge emotional mess, but usually after a couple of hours of crying and asking myself why, I am able to get up and get on with things. I can actually say I have been able to bounce back pretty quickly now days. A couple of months ago that was certainly not the case. I honestly felt like I was sad and upset for days. I would ask myself why, when I am doing all I am supposed to, and trying to start a family is this not working?! I was wasting a good day on being sad and unhappy about the whole situation. And that's when I decided I get one day and that's it.

It's almost sad to me to think that not being able to conceive every month has become the norm.... You would think by now (or at least I would think by now) that I would have given up, but I still hold out hope every month that maybe, just maybe this will be it. So I guess that's good right?! I haven't turned into a complete downer :)

We are getting ready to go in for our first test ( out of three) this Friday and we are hoping for good results. We are keeping our fingers crossed. I have a feeling the Reproductive Care Center is going to become an all too familiar place for us.