Inspiration

Last night while feeding Harper,  I decided to flip through my phone and look at old pictures.  They always seem to bring me a lot of happiness and give me hope that I will be "normal" again. I have a life beyond this depression and anxiety. I have so many blessing and I know that, I just need to get my mind back to "normal". So I decided to close my eyes and scroll down on my phone to see what picture would show up. And here is what did...

I posted this quote on Instagram for my dear niece a couple of months ago because she had recently lost a best friend to a terrible accident.  Little did I know that this quote would be for me as well a couple of months later. I know I saw this quote for the very reason that heavenly father knew I needed it. 

I had the great opportunity of going to dinner with a childhood friend last night. I grew up hanging out with her sister and for the last ten years have followed eachother on Instagram.  She recently reached out to me because she too has been going through similar ppst Partum depression.  Our little girls are just a month apart. I needed this talk with her and dinner more than she'll ever understand.  It gave me the hope I needed to push myself a little more and that I am doing great if I am taking baby steps everyday.  She also told me something that really stuck with me last night and really hit home when I read this quote...

When you're going through something like this all you want to do is have life be back the way it was before. To live your life the way you did before. You just want everything to be back to normal. I have felt this too until she made a point...move forward.... Become a better person from this.  Have more compassion,  empathy, and understanding towards people. She said before all this happened she was oblivious to any of this going on around her because like everyone else, it's hard to understand if you haven't been there. She made me realize that I don't want to go back to having the life I did before.  I want to go back to a new, more understanding,  more empathetic,  stronger Randi.  

This is what I have to get through to rebuild my life the way my heavenly father wants me to. It's not the easiest way, but I know I can do it with the help of wonderful friends, family, my children, and my heavenly father.