Harper's Birth Story

When people tell you each child and each birth is different, they aren't kidding. I was set to be induced with Harper on June 8th. My doctor was leaving to go out of town the morning of May 31st, so we wanted to make sure I set an induction date when she got back. On Thursday, May 29th I went in for my 38 week appointment. I was dilated to a 3 and now about 90 percent effaced. Harper was sitting pretty low. My doctor decided to go ahead and strip my membranes in hopes that maybe that night I would go into labor on my own and she would be there to deliver. I went home after my appointment with absolutely no cramping. I was bummed! I really wanted this to work, but I was starting to lose hope. I kept telling myself to just be patient. The longer this baby cooked, the healthier (and more chunkier) she would be. Friday (May 30th) came around and Camden and I went about our normal business. I cleaned (because I was in full nesting mode), we ran errands, we played with toys, and read a few books.

I put Camden down for a late afternoon nap and decided to take I break myself. I was exhausted! I went to the bathroom and lost my mucus plug. I didn't want to get my hopes up that this could mean I would go into labor soon. But as the hour went by my contractions started to become pretty consistent. I timed them at about five minutes apart. I called the on call doctor and he proceeded to tell me that I was not in active labor and that if I came in most likely they would send me home. That's not exactly what a 38 week pregnant lady wants to hear. So, we went on with our night. John grilled up hamburgers, that literally I only ate 2 bites of because of the pain I was feeling. (later on I wish I would have ate more) The pain was mostly in my lower back and continued to get stronger as the night went on.

Around 10:30pm that evening I decided I really could not handle the pain anymore. At this point I decided that even if they sent me home I was going in to get checked. My mom came over to be with Camden and John and I headed to the hospital. They monitored me for four hours...and when they checked me at 3:00am I was still at a three...I was so frustrated! I was having contractions off the chart and very consistent, but wasn't progressing anymore. The nurses gave me the option to go home and wait it out or to go walk the hospital for an hour and then they would check me again. We chose to walk the hospital. We walked up and down stairs and the halls and finally about almost 4:00am I couldn't do it anymore. We headed back in, got hooked up to the monitor and they checked me...I FINALLY WAS A 4+ which meant I could be admitted. Then reality set in...we were going to have a baby that day. Harper was finally going to be here!

They admitted us and wheeled us down the delivery room. Once we were all settled in I received my epidural and thank goodness because the contractions were getting stronger and stronger and coming more often at this point. An hour or so passed and the on call doctor walked in to meet us, Dr. Hansen. I had actually met him the week prior on Memorial Day because I was cramping really bad and he had checked me to see if I dilated any further. My doctor of course was flying out of town that morning and would not be able to make it for the birth. We knew that would be what happened :), but we were optimistic that everything would go great with Dr. Hansen. He told us he had to run to Jordan Valley Hospital and that I needed to hold off for two hours :) He gave the nurses the order to start me on pitocin and he went ahead and broke my water. At this point I was dilated to a 5. I stayed there for the next hour or so, when they came and checked me again. At 8:30am I was now dilated to a 6.

I kept feeling my contractions on my left side pretty bad. They tried switching sides I was laying on, but said that possibly the epidural was taking more to my right side. The new anesthesiologist ( the previous one had gone home because his shift was over) came in and put a a higher dose in my IV to see if he could get my left side to numb up a bit. We found out later that he also put a dose of morphine in there, which was not relayed to John or I. The left side eventually went numb. I could still feel my left leg, but my right leg was history. I couldn't wiggle my toes or anything. I did not like that feeling at all.

I started to feel nauseous, which was a very familiar feeling. I felt this was with Camden, but knew that once everything was out of my system after birth, my body would adjust and I'd be fine. The anesiologist called in nausea medicine for my to take because he was worried that my spinal was going to come out and we wouldn't have enough time to administer another one. I felt okay about this because they were going to give my Zofran, which I had taken the first trimester of both pregnancies. I called the nurse to come take my barf bag (Yuck) and told her I was feeling a ton of pressure and wondered if she could check me again. We were all way surprised to hear that in only 45 minutes I had gone from a 6 to a 10! Harper was coming out with or without the doctor there! They called Dr. Hansen and he was on his way. For the next five minutes everyone rushed around preparing for Harper's birth, while I still was so so sick. Dr. Hansen showed up at 9:31am and Harper was born at 9:34am. I only pushed for three minutes! I pushed through one contraction, three times and there she was. They were guessing by the size of her head when she was crowning that she was a six pound baby. I didn't believe them! But sure enough when she came out, she was 6lbs. 11oz and 20 inches long. We held her, we cried, and I was able to do skin to skin with her.

There is nothing sweeter than to know your baby has made it safe and sound. Not that the worrying ever stops once they are hear, but it felt so good to finally see this cute girl and finally be able to hold her and love her. John watched her get weighed and cleaned up and kept saying "hi beautiful". It totally melted my heart and I know they're going to have one special father and daughter bond. I was in pure amazement that we had a baby that was so small. I for sure thought this pregnancy would be the same as the last and that I was having another 8 pound baby, but we sure were wrong!

Besides me still feeling pretty sick, Harper's birth was so easy! She came so quickly! I am so grateful the doctor was able to make it back in time. He did a fabulous Job, I mean after all he only had to be there for three minutes ;) Once they cleaned us all up, we started to get things ready to head to the recovery room. The nausea kept getting worse and worse at this point. We found out it was the morphine that was given to be by the anesthesiologist earlier that was causing it. I don't do well with strong drugs. I am a light weight and honestly the strongest thing I ever take at home is Tylenol. The nurse decided to call in another nausea medication. I was so sick and out of it at this point that I couldn't even answer for myself. They stuck a shot of Phenergan in my hip and off we went to recovery, where Camden and my parents waited for us. I kept telling John I didn't feel right and that if I started to talk funny or not look right to please tell the nurses. I could tell something was going on with my body and I didn't like the feeling.

Once we got into recovery we were able to see Camden and visit with him for a bit, but I was still feeling very sick and so my parents decided to take him home and come up later. I didn't want him to see me like that and wonder what was wrong with his mom. The next 30 minutes and really most of this day is somewhat of a blur. I remember breastfeeding Harper and next thing I knew I was throwing her into John's arms and telling him to get a doctor or nurse in the room immediately because I was dying.

It's hard to explain what the next 10 hours of my life was like...I also could probably write an novel about what happened next. The nurses ran in and my husband was scared to death wondering what was going on with me. I couldn't open my eyes, everything was black. Once I was able to see objects, everything was blurry. I needed to hold hands with people because if I didn't have a hold of something I felt like I was going to slip away and die. I felt like my throat was closing off, like I had no oxygen. My heart was pounding, I was shacking, and all I kept thinking was that my husband was going to be a single dad, I didn't get to say goodbye to Camden, and that Harper wouldn't know her mom. I wasn't ready to leave, this couldn't be my time to go, it just couldn't. I could hear everyone talking, but couldn't respond and actually know what I was saying. A nurse named Alisha was there. (tender mercy #1) I will never forget this wonderful lady. She talked to me, asked me questions, made me somewhat calm, and helped me get through one the scariest things I have ever gone through. She was an extra there that day and wasn't even supposed to be assigned to my room, but was because I needed help breastfeeding. They looked over my charts and discussed with John what medication had been given to me. John explained that first the morphine, which made me nauseous. So they gave me Zofran and Phenergan, The nurse immediately said I was having a severe reaction to the Phenergan and that they immediately needed to pump benedryl in me to counter act the medication. This had happened to her before ( Tender mercy #2) and effects about 5% of people who take it. She knew exactly what to do. At this point I was screaming, crying, and honestly did not know where I was. I didn't want anymore medication at this point. I felt like I was drugged up enough and that all anyone wanted to do was fill me up with nonsense drugs. Alisha reassured me that this would help ease the medication and help me get better. Once they gave me the benedryl I started to shack, which is what happens with Phenergan. I basically started to have mini seizures. My body finally started to settle down, but my mind was still not there. I was having panic attacked, anxiety set in, and worst of all hallucinations. They were so bad that I felt as if I was fighting Satan. He kept telling me I wasn't going to make it and that I should probably just give up. I would start crying and no one knew why because no one could obviously hear the stuff going on in my head. I had to tell myself that I was going to be okay, that I need to sing church songs in my head to help fight Satan. I randomly in the midst of all of this asked for a blessing (tender mercy #3) Alisha called a doctor who was working that day to come and give me a blessing with John. She had ran into him earlier that day and he said if she needed anything to let him know. It was within the next couple of hours that she was calling him to come up and give me a blessing (tender mercy #4) I cried the entire time I was receiving a blessing. Every single person in the room was. I don't remember hardly anything that was mentioned in the blessing that John gave me, but the words, "please give Randi the strength to get through this". (tender mercy #5) I needed those words. I knew that the Lord would help me get through this. All I wanted was to feel normal again, to be able to open my eyes, to be able to see my family, and to be able to hold and enjoy these moments with my new daughter. For the next eight or so hours of my life I went in and out of hallucinations, panic attacks, and anxiety. One minute I'd be fine and the next I was crying and screaming because "it" was coming back again. I so wish I could explain what "it" was, but I hope i never have to endure that again. That nurse Alisha stayed all day long and took care of me, she didn't leave my side. (tender mercy #6) The Lord new I needed her that day. I am convinced that is why she was called into work and why she was supposed to be assigned the girl in the room next me, but at the last minute was told she would be assigned to my room. I will never be able to fully explain this experience, or the closeness I felt with my Heavenly Father, but I know he was there by my side and I know that without him I would have not got through this experience as easily. By 8:00pm I was starting to feel somewhat normal, I was able to open my eyes and to have conversations with my family. John told me he was so scared. He cried, I cried and I of course joked that it was good to know he cared so much about me ;)

At this point my body was done, I was done. I was so tired from all the medication and stuff I had been through that day. I was going on 36 hours with no sleep and so was John. He went home and got some rest and came back at midnight. My mom came up while he was gone and loved on Harper while I tried to get some rest. I was still feeling scared to be alone at that point. but that too started to wear off. I got to snuggle with my baby and feel normal again during the night (tender mercy #7) I had never felt more blessed to be back to myself and to sit with John and Harper in that room and know that I was going to be okay.

Sleep that night was okay. I was so tired that my body had a hard time shutting down. But the next morning I was up and feeling 100 million times better. I got in the shower, cleaned up, visited with all the doctors, and we decided since Harper and myself were doing okay that we would go ahead and go home. I wanted to be out of that hospital and especially that room. I wanted to sleep in my own bed that night.

Since we came home on June 1st, We have been adjusting to our new life of being a family of four. Camden has taken a little longer to adjust then John and I ;) which was totally expected. We love our little Harper and are so grateful for her sweet sweet spirit in our home. I have joked that I was given such an easy birth with her because what happened after was sure an adventure! I am grateful for these trials and hardships as silly as it sounds. It sure strengthened my testimony that day. I know the Lord loves me and cares for me. I guess I needed a reassurance of that :)

Five days after returning home, I ran to Harmon's to get a few items, while John stayed home with Harper and Camden. When I was getting ready to head to the check out, I had a lady tap me on the shoulder and say I know you, where do I know you from? I turned around and my eyes immediately began to fill with tears. It was Alisha. (tender mercy #8) She didn't fully recognize me because my hair was done and I had make-up on :) I told her I was the crazy one she took care of at the hospital. She said well, I get a lot of crazies ha ha. I told her I was the one who had the side effects to Phenergan. She started to cry and gave me a huge hug! She said You look so beautiful! I needed to see you today...the Lord knew I need to see you like this...all better and back to normal. The lord also knew I needed to see Alisha that day. I needed closer from this entire experience. For those five days I couldn't talk about my experience because every time I started to I had flash backs, I would feel anxiety. Seeing Alisha that day gave me the strength I needed to overcome my feelings about what had happened and be able to talk about it. (tender mercy #9) The Lord knows us, each of us. How wonderful it is to know that :)